Weddings and Wonder

Hashtag Destination Weddings: Bicol, Subic, and Batangas

Gabriel and I attended another wedding last Saturday, our third invitation for the year. And they aren't just typical weddings in the city, but destination weddings that needed whole weekends to attend. I have to say, they are a perfect excuse for weekend out-of-town trips! :))

All of the weddings are from Gabriel's side–a relative, a college friend, and a colleague. Each of them unique in their aesthetics, execution, even audience. Without fail, I catch myself wondering how my own wedding will look like, and feel like.

It's true, the way some people dismiss a person's musings of "I'm not going to get married" to "You just haven't found the right person yet." While I disagree with how, well, dismissive, of a person's own self-analysis this can be, I also find it true that you can't really predict everything that is going to happen in your life. Somewhere, somehow, something will change and steer you to a direction you never thought you'd choose.

As a kid, I marveled at wedding dresses. How pretty they make the wearer seem. I wondered what it would be like if I were in those bridal shoes. I even tried drawing some designs of what I wanted mine to look like. Everything seemed to be made of lace and light and love.

As I grew older, I realized I didn't care much for weddings, that I couldn't care less either if I get married. In fact, I didn't think I would. But now, weddings and marriage are just some of those things in my future that I feel are certain, definite. More than the ceremony, it's the promise of a life together that looms largely in the distance. And yet, it's become something that just seemed unconditionally natural to think about, to want, to plan for.

There are still a number of weddings we have to attend to before our time comes. A handful more of chances to pick up useful tricks and pointers. :)) Until then, I will always be filled with wonder at how such moments come together to celebrate the union of two people who have chosen each other to spend the rest of their lives with. 

Australia: Week Two

Sydney, NSW and Canberra, ACT
29 April to 6 May 2016

The people I talked to and who had been to Australia kept dismissing Canberra as "boring." And cold. Boring and cold. Maybe the country's meticulously planned capital could be quite dull when you've been there for a while. For me, though, a week in this spic-and-span city is bitin. Mostly because most of my weekdays there were spent for the course proper. We barely had time to go out to the business district before the shops closed, never mind the many museums and parks that are one or two bus rides away.

We stayed in Braddon, a suburb adjacent to the Canberra CBD. When we got there, the autumn foliage in the city was in its full splendor. Those trees could just be talisay, you know. :)) But damn, is the city pretty during this season!

After settling in our hotel, my companion and I went around for a walk to look for the station of the bus we would take for our weekend Sydney trip. Just across the CBD is this park dedicated to ANZAC. It really amazes me how much honor the people of Australia give to that part of their country's history. Lest We Forget markers seem to be a staple in most cities, if not all. (Meanwhile, Filipinos are welcoming the opportunity to revise history. But that's another post.)

Pose, how do :))

Is it winter yet? 🍁🍂🍃 #AryaLakwatsera 😂

A photo posted by Riza Atienza (@_rizaatienza) on Apr 29, 2016 at 12:08am PDT

Caught the boys of Merlin on Canberra TV. That's season 3, Gwaine's intro! That git. Haha.

Because we had the weekend free before the course started the following Monday, my batch mates and I decided to take on our respective solo trips to Sydney, where we all have friends and families to host us. I met with my friend who's currently studying at the University of New South Wales, and he took it upon himself to tour me around Sydney.

Sydney's Central Station. Not as iconic and as lively as Flinders, in my opinion. But still pretty.

Sydney is a bustling metropolis, but it's coastal and conducive for long walks. So from the Coogee suburb, we walked and people-watched towards Coogee Beach. I love how how accessible the beach is from the suburb. People thereabouts are so chill. Maybe because it was a Saturday. On our way, I even saw people not wearing any footwear. To each town its own quirks. :)

We had lunch at this Mediterranean-themed place near the beach. Super chill! Ahh, First World life. :))

After some catching up, my friend and I headed downtown so I could look around for pasalubong. With the Opal card, buses and trains are so easy to use. *insert heart-wrenching envy again here*

Paddy's Market

Sydney, like Melbourne is a multi-cultural city with people minding their own businesses. Basically, people are warm but you can do whatever you please, too. It's less intimate than Melbourne, if that makes any sense, but just as vibrant and engaging. The sprawl of the city and all the tall buildings can be quite intimidating, but afternoon strolls like the one I had at Darling Harbour could really make visitors feel quite at home.

We chanced upon this installation of quirky road signs from around the world.

Oh yeah? :))

#AryaLakwatsera in the coastal city of Braavos! Haha.

A view of the Australian Maritime Museum

From Darling Harbour, we took a ferry to Circular Quay. My tour guide (haha) said that it's more epic if I had my first encounter with the Harbour Bridge and the Opera House from the middle of the bay. True enough, it was really a good view.

Luna Park! Someday, I will be able to enter one. :))

How pretty is it at night!

That one time Arya was in Highgarden. 🌸🌷🌺🌹 Chos. #AryaLakwatsera

A photo posted by Riza Atienza (@_rizaatienza) on Jun 18, 2016 at 5:35pm PDT

After my final chance to shop in Sydney (at the DFO in Stratford) (the plaza near the train station is so cute!), I hurriedly tried to go back to Central Station to catch my bus back to Canberra. (I actually missed my scheduled trip. Luckily, my student ID gave me the privilege to change my ticket for free. Otherwise, that's AUD80 down the drain! Haha. Nawili kasi sa DFO at Woolworth's! :)))

Choices, choices

I think I'm ready I think
I know I'm ready I know
I think I'm ready I think
I know
I'm ready to go

Some two weeks ago, I made a clear-cut choice between leaving and staying. For the most part of last month, I was itching to go and take my chance somewhere else. And this song has been beckoning me since. I wanted to leave, partly out of vindication and dissatisfaction, and partly because I want to test myself and see how far I can go in a field that is completely different from what I know and have been doing for the past almost-four years. 

This Millennial disillusionment, they call it. That which makes this generation yearn for more beyond regular paychecks and affiliation with reputable institutions. To be fair though, our paychecks are probably worth less than the Boomers' during their time. Couple this with responsibilities beyond your control, and the world going crazy and violent and really stupid, it's hard to feel contentment. 

I was the only one to get accepted out of the five applicants that day, I was told. The day after, I got the offer. I asked for a few days to think. That weekend, it was all I thought of. I weighed all the pros and cons, over and over. Asked my friends for advice. Asked my superior. (Of course, she persuaded me to stay.) Considered why I thought of leaving, why I applied for another job in the first place.

I wanted change and independence. I was looking for mentorship and meaning in my work. I was looking for a solid leadership and a bigger organizational vision. Mostly, I was holding on to a grudge. I don't need to be here as much as you need me. You guys better get your shit together. Some people just want to watch the world burn, a friend said. :)) 

Staying meant dealing with the same things again, for the foreseeable future. It meant stability for now, in this turbulent period of extended transition. (Sigh.) It meant staying with the people I have come to consider as friends. It meant having the chance to help change things that I find problematic. It meant the powers that be recognizing that more people have to step up. Otherwise, refusing to accept people's resignation letters won't hold things together anymore.

This was a big choice for me, probably the most explicit I have to deal with since I chose my college degree program. I chose to stay. I had to consider a lot of factors, and I know that leaps of faith require you to take the chance despite the possibility of discomfort and failure. I have, however, proven to myself that I can take on the challenge if I set my mind to it.

Self-actualization is a struggle, this generation's status symbol. It doesn't matter how far ahead you are in the money and assets (or even family-building) game, it seems. It's more fulfilling to be able to pursue a passion, be good at it, and contribute to society.

It's been two weeks now. Things are a little better. I am still on the hunt for better opportunities, better ways to use my skills to serve the public (really). I have things to look forward to, and goals I plan to achieve in the next few years. I intend to stop beating myself up and focus my energy on improving, improving, improving. When opportunity knocks again, I will be ready to answer the call.

As the office mate I look up to keeps saying, your choice today affects what you will become tomorrow. What you are today is the result of the choices you have made yesterday. People can't blame their circumstances or fate. Everyone had to make choices, and you have to own up to those. I can't say now if I was right to stay. But one thing is certain: I have to live with the choice I made and make the most out of it.

Tonight we are victorious

Yes, I was so far. Sooooo far from the stage. Don't talk to me about it. Nevertheless, my Panic! at the Disco Live in Manila experience was pretty awesome. Solid. Grabe si Brendon.

My friends and I are trying to save every cent we can for our upcoming trip in November, and the announcement of Panic's concert in Manila was met with a lot of "Are you fucking sure???" and "I'm not prepared! What do we do?" We couldn't care less about the other bands performing for In The Mix 2016 (it was sort of a festival). The answer was, "Yes" and "Of course, we go. Even with the cheapest ticket available." 

As can be gleaned from this blog, I am a huge P!ATD fan, and it pained me to be this far away from the stage when I've waited 10 years to see them live. But, well, we deal, we deal. 

Like one huge party with Brendon as the star, the concert was a roller-coaster ride of grooving to the beats, being awestruck by Brendon's talent (there seems to be nothing that this guy can't do), fist-pumping, and getting big-time nostalgic about Fever... and Pretty. Odd. songs.

Almost every period in my recent past had me going to PATD for comfort and inspiration. 2006, we were in high school, angsty as hell, sporting eyeliners and being so young, desperate for attention.

2009, I was lost in college, always the loner and struggling with belonging, finding good vibes and keeping the company of that green gentleman.

2011, I was so all over the place, so busy with acads and work and social life, and everything was just bittersweet at 21.

2014, I was making myself believe that I was already an adult, able to figure things out, but there will always be that fear of falling apart.

And now, 2016, crossing the quarter-life and feeling like life should be a celebration instead of preempting the regrets of my youth. :))

PATD is so important to me, whether pre-Ryan's exit or the current one with just Brendon. Always (heh), I am amazed by the artistry of their lyrics and their genre-defying (triphop cabaret dance punk, heh) sounds. Panic makes me feel that being imperfect and making all these mistakes are okay, that the world is awesome with the right mindset. That it's fine to revel in human nature and all its accompanying oddities. That shit happens, but life goes on. (And that Urie is just so fucking talented, and amazing to watch and listen to.)

I would like to specially mention Golden Days, because like the girl behind the camera of this video, I actually felt my heart skip a beat when I realized that this song was about to be played.

Aside from the obvious ones in Death of A Bachelor, Golden Days is my favorite in the entire album. So poignant and, well, relatable. And just a great, beautiful song: Oh don't you wonder when the light begins to fade? / And the clock just makes the colors turn to gray. When I first heard that song, I was like, GOD. DAMN.

It was a surreal and fun and crazy evening. Brendon sure knows how to work up a crowd. And he's just so insanely talented. (Have I said that yet?)

Setlist: Panic! At The Disco Live in Manila

Rainy and Gray (And Anything But)

Us inadvertently twinning for his birthday okonomiyaki dinner:

Lawful Neutral // Chaotic Neutral

and vice versa (haha!)