The loss of humanity, a descent to hell

The other night was probably the hardest I've cried in months. I weep for a 14-year old child, whose life has been taken so violently and so hatefully taken from him, from his family. I weep for the likes of him, Reynaldo, and Carl and Kian, whose deaths the state forces have so callously disregarded as "collateral damage" in this myopic and ultimately counter-productive campaign against the poor and the powerless. 

Of course, they'd say it's not against the poor. But in truth it's a fight against an imagined enemy at the expense of real, blood-soaked bodies of marginalized Filipinos summarily executed in the slums and dark alleys every night by the people who have the monopoly of "lawful" violence.

I weep for these kids' futures cut so short and so tragically. I weep for the justice that seems to elude this whole country, the disregard for human rights and due process. I weep for the lack of empathy shown by the majority of this regime's supporters. I weep because of anger, of sadness, of confusion–how did we come to this? I weep for the country's–and the world's–future in the hands of these demagogues.

Someday soon, all of us will be faced with harsh truths and bitter realities. I do not doubt it would be violent and soul-crushing, a rude awakening for these times this country has shut its eyes from the monstrosity that grows and devours, day after day after day.

And the sun will set for you

(Screengrab x)

It's been two days now, but I feel like it's only just sinking in. I can't fathom how the constant voice that echoed the heartaches and confusion of my teenage years can be gone forever. 

Chester's characteristic screams and melodious voice punctuated the songs that gave me solace. As one tribute said, "Linkin Park, and specifically Bennington, kicked in the door to our respective darknesses not to spark a light, but to sit with us for a while." The songs made me feel that it was alright not to be alright just yet, and that negative emotions are just as valid as the positive ones.

I can't imagine my formative years without the "noise" and the "screams" and the "angry lyrics" of Linkin Park. From group presentations to individual school projects (choose a song, make an artwork out of it and explain its significance for you—I did Easier to Run), to CDs we burned and passed around, Linkin Park songs and Chester's voice were my staple.

Even into my young adult years, I have always drifted every now and then to songs of Linkin Park. And while my music preferences over the years have changed, I can never deny the fact that Linkin Park was the first band I truly became a fan of: Meteora being the soundtrack of my high school years, and Hybrid Theory being a constant presence in my childhood even before that. 

As a fan, I only ever knew Chester as a vocal hero, whose rhythms and lyrics reached my core. Chester—and the band—hung out their inner demons to dry through their songs. And for better or worse, us fans lived through ours because of these. It sucks how no one can be there for him, the way his voice was there for us. 

Like the rest of the world, I am heartbroken. But Chester had chosen his battles and he had chosen how to fight them. I hope now that he finds peace, finally, and know that he has indeed left reasons to be missed. 

Hey, 2017

Half the year is almost over, but it seems like it isn't keen to let up on the things. Work has been taxing, current events have been way too taxing, people around me have been quite taxing, my personal endeavors can be quite taxing. I feel like most of the year, I'm anxious about having to do stuff but not having enough time and talent and energy for them.

The first couple of months were spent trying to get into the groove of the new year, writing down plans and making valiant efforts to push through with them. I spent January and February studying for a a notorious post-grad entrance exam (but maybe more on that later this year), trying to incorporate healthier eating in my (and Gabriel's) routine, going out for weekly jogs, and planning and ditching grand schemes. (Hopefully, said scheme will come into fruition early next year, instead of this year. I just have to work harder for it still.)

This year, I have also started with a pen and paper (and washi tapes!) journal/planning system, which seems to be working fine for me, almost six months in. Must be why I don't feel the urge to be on social media (and blog) so much this year. Spending time every day to be mindful of my tasks and my use of time, and then reflecting on the day's events, have indeed helped me stay grounded and sane. Sometimes, when my work pile gets high, I stop everything and just write things down. I get to try new ways of looking at my days, and it's comforting how unrestricted I can be with the system. 

First quarter also had me working on my ~entrepreneurial~ side with Claire. Mostly, it's Claire's idea and our mini project was just a wee investment we undertook to learn how to operate a (very) small, low-risk online business. There were things we didn't think we would encounter starting the project, but eventually, we learned how to work out the kinks and learned how to deal with so many kinds of people. All things considered, I think it's been a good exercise in customer service, marketing, and industry research... Charing! :))

For now, I'm just plodding on through my tasks at work, day after day. I'm also in the process of applying for another post-grad thing. Admittedly, I feel like I've been trying to bite off more than I can chew right now. However, being almost (gasp!) 27, sometimes I feel like I'm already running out of time and I have to do everything right now, or, well, at least get started already. I hope the rest of 2017 will cooperate.

January, February, March, April, May / I'm alive 

Autumn Kansai Adventure: Kyoto

Kyoto, Kyoto Prefecture, Japan

12-14 November 2016

Almost as soon as we got well acquainted with the train lines and train stations in Osaka, it was time to head to Kyoto, where we fumbled our way through the bus routes and bus stops. Despite there being reliable train lines in Kyoto, Claire and I deemed it more practical to take the buses as we explored the city. A lot of the bus routes were nearer the sites we wanted to visit, and the buses were more widely available, especially in the outskirts of Kyoto.

Self-explanatory bus routes and stations - that's the dream

Plus GPS-enabled buses that arrive on the dot - that's the dream :))

 Day 4: Nishiki Market and Downtown Kyoto

After settling down at our hostel, we had time to spare before night fell so we went to downtown Kyoto and looked for Nishiki Market. The tita in me was very pleased with the variety of goods sold in the famous market, ranging from dried seafood, confectionery, herbs and spices, and many fresh produce. I actually enjoyed just walking through the throng and looking at the stalls. Along the way, we tried some street food and soft serve. Claire had grilled baby octopus and black sesame soft serve, while I had grilled scallops and matcha soft serve.

Partly confident about Kyoto's grid-like streets, partly dependent on Google Maps, we detoured to the shopping streets nearby: Shinkyogoku-dori and Teramachi-dori. How well-lit and convenient it is to do shopping in these arcades, indeed.

We continued walking directionless around downtown Kyoto, and then went to the quaint and famed Pontocho Alley and the surrounding streets in the Gion area. There were loads of tourists, but the traditional atmosphere of the area was still palpable. The bigger streets were crowded, but the small alleyways were very charming, with their red lanterns and decorated shop windows.

Walking along, we reached what was probably (😂) the banks of Kamo River. We came across what seemed like a fastfood restaurant that takes order with a vending machine. It's one experience we wanted to try in Japan, and so we had our fill of the full (but relatively cheap!) meals. Too bad I forgot the name!

Autumn Kansai Adventure: Osaka

Most of the downtime I (and I assume Claire, too) had during the latter half of 2016 was spent on planning and worrying about our Japan trip last November. The eight-day adventure in the Kansai area was special  for the both of us because we've always wanted to visit Japan, and it was a trip that we had full control over. We planned the trip from scratch, pooled our resources together, processed our visas, got antsy over our lack of Japanese language (and geographical/navigational) skills, pored over the Google Sheet file for our itinerary for months on end, and come November 8, threw caution to the wind.

It was worth it.

--

Osaka City, Osaka Prefecture, Japan

8-12 November 2016

November 8th was such a terrible day for Philippine history. We were already at NAIA waiting for our flight when news broke that a certain dictator had been allowed burial at the LNMB. And so on we hopped to our flight, looking forward to forgetting the self-destruction happening in the Philippines, even for just a little while.

Arriving about 10 PM at the rainy Kansai Airport, we bought two passes to help us navigate Osaka more conveniently, with access to both mass transportation and popular tourist sites. We got the Kansai One Pass and the Osaka Amazing Pass from the Tourist Center, whose staff were all very accommodating. 

We took the Nankai train straight from KIX, which got me a little too envious of Japan so early in the trip. (A train directly to the international airport!) We got seated next to a retiree Canadian so eager to tell anyone who would listen to him about his travel woes. He told us about the terrible Airbnb he booked in Hong Kong, his long flight from the US, and his uncertainty about where his Airbnb in Osaka was. He chatted with us for the whole duration of the ride until we reached Namba, where we were also headed. Since the information office where we hoped to seek assistance from English-speakings staff was closed, a kind uncle volunteered to help the Canadian. Meanwhile, Claire and I found our way to the train line we had to take to get us to our own Airbnb.

Tired from the flight and the adrenaline rush, we settled for the night and prepared for our trip to Universal Studios the following day.

Day 1: Universal Studios Japan, Osaka

Even if we've read and watched tons of entries about USJ, and the Wizarding World of Harry Potter in particular, we were downright overwhelmed with the fact that we were finally able to visit Hogsmeade and Hogwarts, with a bit of the Forbidden Forest on the side. The cold weather, with alternating sunny and overcast skies, added to the experience, too. It was amazing. ♥ 

Hello, childhood dream. :')

I know I was just a consumer of this fabricated, materialist reality. But darn, I loved every single minute of it. :D

There was still a huge crowd at the park even if it was a Wednesday, which was no less than what we expected. We were, in fact, among the first few hundred who had to run to get inside WWHP without the need for timed-entry tickets. Aside from the lines for the attractions, we also had to deal with the language barrier. Almost everything was in Japanese, though I personally didn't really mind. 

Gladrags Wizardwear and The Three Broomsticks

Kids trying out robes at Wiseacre’s Wizarding Equipment :')

Such lovely details in the interiors

Ollivander's! All the wandsss.

The view of the castle across the Black Lake :')

My meal at the Three Broomsticks ♥

I had Butterbeer. Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.

Bear! :D

I loved how these banners are so in-character. :))
Encouraging Hufflepuff. Assertive Slytherin. Indifferent? Ravenclaw. Hardy Gryffindor. :))

(Costly 😭) Confectionery Dreamland

The details were so amazing. 

We spent the whole morning (and then some) solely inside the WWHP. In the afternoon, we attempted to try going out to the other parts of the park.

Arya at Amityville!

Quaint brownstones and hidden alleyways

While wandering around the rest of USJ, we chanced upon the starting location of the park's parade. The energy was contagious. :))

Well, the keyword was "attempted." After probably an hour, or maybe two, max, we were back again in Hogsmeade. :))

That's not the castle you're looking for, Arya.

We just took the Forbidden Journey ride again, and just marveled once more at the magical world we were (temporarily) in. It was a good call that we decided not to get the Express Pass, firstly because the lines weren't 3-4 hours-long and, secondly, because we dedicated more than ample time for our stay in WWHP. It was an altogether different experience to see Hogsmeade and Hogwarts light up in the evening.

The Howler is Mrs. Weasley chastising Ron, in Japanese, of course.

♥♥♥

The park was truly more beautiful at night. If we had a choice, we would have stayed there for a week more. However, we had to leave at around 7PM to make sure that we still had a train to catch.

Were were exhausted from all the walking and the queues. We didn't even have the energy to look for a nice dinner, and so we had our first meal care of the friendly neighborhood convenience store.

But we went back to our room with happy and fulfilled Potterhead hearts, with Hedwig's theme still playing in our heads as we drifted off to sleep. :))

(More of the photodump under the cut)

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Jeep engines revving. Stray dogs barking. Coins clinking. Yellow fluorescent bulbs lining up the kiosks. Rows of fruits, vegetables, smoked fish. Knick-knacks and trinkets. Relentless honks from speeding buses. Cacophonous idle chatter. Cold northeast wind. Gray smoke from grills. Monotonous PSAs. Peddlers hawking their wares...

A waft of your scent.

And the world stops.

Capping off 2016

I thought that with the number of non-working holidays declared in December, I would have time to lounge around and catch up on my reading and writing pile. December did come by in a whirlwind, filled with frantic days finishing things up at work, catching up on commitments (and raket hehe) and looking for gifts. 

I should know by now that the holiday season meant two things: family and friends, despite the busyness the end of the year brings.

Gabriel and I celebrated our second anniversary weekend on the same month. No fuss, no frills - just a fun movie (Rogue One!), lots of food, running errands and getting over the Christmas preparation madness. We also celebrated Miguel's birthday and my parents' wedding anniversary that weekend.

Of course, December will not be complete without the yearly get-together with my high school barkada. Gellie came back from Japan after three years, bringing with her her husband. It kinda took a while for us to concede that one of us is now married and will be having a kid in a few months. A baby! Can you imagine? I can't, at first. But when we got together again after those three long years, it all felt just natural. Niraj is a pretty cool guy, too, who get along with us really well. He married Gellie; he's got loads of kakulitan in him, too, of course.

Gellie and Niraj were here for just two weeks. Before they left again for Japan, we met three times - for our year-end exchange gift and dinner, for dinner and videoke, and for a day trip to a clubhouse pool and spa. We did not notice it that time, but I realized that in that one week, we made it a point to squeeze in time to meet. We found holes in our schedules to make sure we could join the meet-ups. [Hello sa hard-to-get namin na friends na itago na lang natin sa codename na C at R. CR. :))]

Just the other night, Gabriel and I talked about how fortunate I am to still be friends with the guys I grew up with. How even though we barely manage to find time to meet often, it feels like we were together just yesterday. How ruthless we still are on teasing and bullying (heh) one another. How natural it is to discuss our dreams and fears and plans, and know that we got each other's backs. How easy it is to take off our #adulting facade and just be the hyperactive high schoolers we once were again for a little while. 

So yes, even if I did not manage to coop up in December (which I was really looking forward to), I wouldn't have my holiday break any other way.