Questions of the 23 to-be

As my birth month approaches, I am forced to think about the answers to the questions people have been hurtling towards me, whether implicitly or not.

How do I want my life to be measured? A couple of months ago, a handful of employees retired from work simultaneously. Prior to their departure, I would often overhear them talking about the number of years they have worked, how much of this time would get translated to their pensions, retirement incentives, and other benefits. And I was brought to thinking, do I wish my life to be summed up with just a single number? I'm pretty sure they have accomplished things, brought up their respective families successfully, etc. It's just that I feel like that 10, 20, 30 years is such a long time to achieve nothing more than just the ability to say "I stayed this long." I wish to be rewarded for my efforts with something beyond a plaque and a check. Which brings me to the next question, the enigma of my age, my people--

What the hell am I going to do with my life? I know that most young adults are as baffled, as confused as I am now. I'm about to be 23, and yet, I haven't formulated any concrete plan yet. I know I have a not-so-bad job right now, something I considered I could do for some years to come. But every now and then, I get a tug at the back of my brain that seems to say, "You're thinking of staying because it's easy, because it's safe." How many instructional-for-the-twenty-somethings articles have I read that said, go find out what you are really passionate about? How many quotes have I read that said choose a life that is as difficult as it is fulfilling?

Speaking of age--Am I not of age to be in a relationship already? Seriously, the number of people who are insisting that I should be in a relationship is proportional to the amount of irritation I feel when they do it. I have come to call this second-hand frustration because I feel that they are frustrated because I just don't give a rat's arse about it. I think not a day will go by without anybody at the office hinting that I should go out and meet people. I just don't think it's suited for me.

Am I secretly lonely? I admit, people in relationships intrigue me. I am curious to know what it's like to be committed and feel so strongly towards another person. But then, I have an amazing family, incredibly crazy but wonderful friends, so no, I really am not lonely at all. In fact, sometimes I wish I can afford to demand solitude more often.

Where's my own brand of metaphor? I am not lonely. However, I'm more curious about the possibility of having somebody as your source of metaphors. As somebody who is always struck by the beauty of word imagery and still can not, for the life of her, make her own, I am forced to deduce that maybe I am missing out on something that will allow me to find these metaphors. Oh cripes. I don't know what I'm saying. (I am inclined to think, moreover, that saying "Be my metaphor please?" is a romantic way to say you like someone. HAHAHA. I'm sorry.)

Why am I not reading enough books lately? I know, I know. My whole lifetime probably won't be enough to read all the books I want (and need) to read. The feeling of intensely wanting to have read this and that book but not wanting to do the actual reading happened to me more often this year than I'd care to admit. Ahhhh.

Same with writing. Sigh.

Oh, and Ryro's back

After years, Ryan Ross is finally back to making music. And don't he know people have been waiting for him! I was beside myself when Jon Walker posted something about it. (Jon, you are the best.) Ryan Ross is back. Ryan. Ross. Is. Back.

An excerpt of a review from EAR MILK:

Following the opening instrumental is “Where I Belong (Demo)”, with a Beatles-esque feel like the last Young Veins record. Unlike his work with The Young Veins, this has been cross-pollinated with the aforementioned French house style. Ross’ vocals have an early-McCartney feel to them, and the multi-layered live electric guitars give a richness to the track that often gets lost in modern electronic music. The real standout here isn’t just the musical styling. Lyrically, Ross presents yet another reason why he’s penned three Billboard #1 singles: this is a truly emotionally stirring song. 

Upon closer inspection, the lyrics are axiomatic of the current state of his career - painting a story of self reflection, doubt, and sadness. Despite the sing-a-long nature of the lyrics, it’s clear why Ross decided to lead his career comeback with this song: these are the honest admissions of a man searching for answers, looking back at his transgressions, and admitting he was wrong.

(Upon playing it so many times, I began asking myself in turn, where do I belong, then?)

Ah. My favorite songsmith back to stirring my emotions once more. I'm not complaining. 

Hullo from the dungeons

What with getting my laptop busted and being under house arrest for a good part of the month due to a cyst that would be removed sometime next week,I wasn't able to accomplish much recently. I wasn't even able to join my friend on our one-week Ilocos tour that I became so distressed. :( (Of all the times that I could be sick,  did it really have to be during the week of the trip that I was so excited about and was meant to be the highlight of my year?)

While at home, I got a head-start on watching (and listening!) to different shows.

Elementary is a US series adaptation of Sherlock Holmes (played by Jonny Lee Miller) set in the modern era. Unlike BBC's immensely popular Sherlock, Elementary finds the world's most famous detective solving cases in New York, with the help of his companion, Joan Watson (Lucy Liu). After the 24-episode first season, I daresay I favor this version more, not only because Watson was elevated to being more than just a sidekick but because the relationship between her and Sherlock was among the most multi-layered, complex, believable, and ultimately the most enjoyable development I have seen unfold. This, and the really great twists and deconstructions of the characters (not the least of them is Miss Hudson being queer) makes Elementary a great show that dared take  the story of Sherlock Holmes to more than just crime-solving. (Gosh, I love Lucy Liu. And Natalie Dormer.)

Horrible Histories is a children's educational show based on the books by Terry Deary. Regardless of its target audience, the show is pure brilliance that can be enjoyed by all ages. As the title suggests, it features the gruesome, bizarre, and more often than not, ridiculous moments and customs from the different peoples and periods in history. With the hilarious sketches, absurdly catchy songs, and modern retelling of various historical anecdotes, it's impossible not to marvel at the genius of the actors and the production crew. I'm still catching up on the fourth season, while the fifth and final season aired this year (what's with shows that end just as I am discovering them?). There's no other way to describe the whole thing other than really awesome. Haha. 

Another awesome stuff that's been occupying my attention lately is the podcast Welcome to Night Vale. Created by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cannor and voiced by the amazing Cecil Baldwin, Welcome to Night Vale is a  free (!) twice-monthly independent podcast that mixes the elements of horror, science fiction, comedy, and even a touch of romance. Told in the format of a community radio show, the horrific events in the desert town of Night Vale are part hilarious in the matter-of-fact and cheeky manner the host, Cecil, tells it, and part disturbing in its existentialist pessimism meanderings. Aside from the supernatural and intriguing events and characters, the show's weather portion features awesome music as well. Seriously, I've made it a personal mission to spread the word about Night Vale so that people will join me in ordering shirts and other products to support and help finance this show. Imagined readers and fellow starers of the void, go give it a listen and learn about Carlos the Scientist, Old Woman Josie and her angels, Dana the Intern, and the awful Desert Bluffs, among others. It's utter brilliance!

I also ended up being in  my annual Hogwarts mode--re-reading the books and watching the movies, even wasting time again at Pottermore. I really have no idea when I will outgrow this. I'm not even sure if I really want to, not with the new material coming with Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, the movie which will be written by J.K. herself. 

So yeah, the good lot being stuck at home makes me do. While it is fun and relaxing to stay at home for two weeks, I was almost relieved that I can finally go back to work. :))