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It's been two days now, but I feel like it's only just sinking in. I can't fathom how the constant voice that echoed the heartaches and confusion of my teenage years can be gone forever.
Chester's characteristic screams and melodious voice punctuated the songs that gave me solace. As one tribute said, "Linkin Park, and specifically Bennington, kicked in the door to our respective darknesses not to spark a light, but to sit with us for a while." The songs made me feel that it was alright not to be alright just yet, and that negative emotions are just as valid as the positive ones.
I can't imagine my formative years without the "noise" and the "screams" and the "angry lyrics" of Linkin Park. From group presentations to individual school projects (choose a song, make an artwork out of it and explain its significance for you—I did Easier to Run), to CDs we burned and passed around, Linkin Park songs and Chester's voice were my staple.
Even into my young adult years, I have always drifted every now and then to songs of Linkin Park. And while my music preferences over the years have changed, I can never deny the fact that Linkin Park was the first band I truly became a fan of: Meteora being the soundtrack of my high school years, and Hybrid Theory being a constant presence in my childhood even before that.
As a fan, I only ever knew Chester as a vocal hero, whose rhythms and lyrics reached my core. Chester—and the band—hung out their inner demons to dry through their songs. And for better or worse, us fans lived through ours because of these. It sucks how no one can be there for him, the way his voice was there for us.
Like the rest of the world, I am heartbroken. But Chester had chosen his battles and he had chosen how to fight them. I hope now that he finds peace, finally, and know that he has indeed left reasons to be missed.
