This Saturday night in neon lights is the best. Thank you, Stars.

The night starts here. The night starts here.

Wow, I'm back to blogging here after three months and it took a wonderful night with a wonderful band to get me back on my gear. All the two-hour wait in line outside and then another hour inside the venue were totally worth it. I am a relatively new fan of Stars, compared to those who have known them for years and who ended up crying during the performance, but that night was one of the best experiences I've ever had.

Their words simply blow me away, and the melodies are just the right mix of rock and mellow. It was amazing how in less than a year, their songs have managed to touch my life in so many unexpected ways.

Outerhope

Ciudad

Outerhope + Ciudad

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

It almost feel like a favor from the gods of fate that just when I have become so in love with the band that they decided to have a tour and include Manila in their destinations. IT WAS AWESOME and I knew I have to watch it or I will regret it forever. The whole show had me singing along and enjoying the crowd I was part of. Torq and Amy and the rest of the band were simply glorious. It was really nice when Torq talked about eating mangoes (of course) and being told that Manila is one of the must-play destinations.

The amazing Amy Millan

I just wished the sound system was more aptly designed for such an event. I thought the audio was rather warbled at first, especially during the front acts. My concert-mates and I were grumbling about the event organization (or lack thereof). But then, when Stars came on stage, everything was pushed to the back of my mind and I had the time of my life. Torq and Amy were really top performers and I really hoped they enjoyed playing for us. Being responsive and singing along to all the songs was the least we could do in return for bringing their awesomeness to our shores. They kept telling us that the Manila crowd is one of the most amazing ones they've ever played for. And that the setlist they had for us was definitely one of the longest they played in years. 

The Theory of Relativity was such a good opener. (I had it whole on video but I deleted it because, damn it, I had to allocate memory for everything that was to come. It broke my heart.) But I totally lost it with Midnight Coward and Dead Hearts. Dead Hearts was really the first song I've heard from Stars and I was shaking while taking a video of the performance BECAUSE DAMN I CAN SAY IT BUT YOU WON'T BELIEVE ME, YOU SAY YOU DO BUT YOU DON'T DECEIVE ME. DEAD HEARTS ARE EVERYWHERE, DEAD HEARTS ARE EVERYWHERE.

The band also talked about how amazing the Filipinos are, like how we had so much hardships thrown at us but we remain steadfast and all. (UGH, it was really sweet, I wish people recorded it.) And he said that for the 13 years that he had been doing the band, it was the first time that they experienced such a crowd as us. (I hope I'm not embellishing this. Haha.) And they promised to come back! How fantastic was that. I really hope that was true, despite the less-than-ace sound system and the noise from the crowd that they seem to have had a hard time hearing each other. Haha.

And then Take Me To The Riot happened and I swear the band was in such an adrenaline rush Amy and Torq and Chris and Evan and Pat were all jumping on stage (well of course, except Pat haha) and the whole audience were so excited and energetic and the strobe lights were blinding but we didn't care. It was pure madness, we got so lost in the music and the energy of one another. It was indeed a riot albeit such a fun one. The next song was Changes and I didn't recognize it at first (I think most of the crowd didn't) but I was so happy because I thought it won't be played at all!

For the encore, Amy came back with Chris the guitarist and played My Favourite Book. It was a really chill song and a crowd favorite and Amy made us sing parts and WAH IT WAS UBER FUN. And then it was One More Night and asjkfhasd;lkgajhdgkl and then they played On Peak Hill. ON FRIGGIN PEAK HILL. I almost cried because it's really one of my favorite songs ever and I thought it was so obscure I almost gave up hope that they would play it. BUT OHMYGOD I WAS SO HAPPY I NEVER LOVED THEM AS MUCH AS WHEN TORQ BEGAN SINGING IT.

There was a guy behind me who, when there were relative silences during the show, kept shouting Set Yourself on Fire. I was so happy for him, and the rest of us, of course haha, when Torq said, "The next one is Set Yourself on Fire." Like woah. It was not in the setlist that was running around days before the show. AND THEN WE HAD CALENDAR GIRL HOLYSHITTTT. I couldn't contain myself because it was a really beautiful song and wow. I couldn't grasp the idea that I was there, singing it with Stars. *O* The show closed with The 400, a quiet and apt ending to that night.

EVERYTHING THAT LED UP TO ME WATCHING THIS SHOW AND SEEING THEM LIVE WAS SO WORTH IT.

Thank you, Stars, for taking us to the riot.

Edit: The North Album Tour: Stars in Manila Setlist

Christmas party escapade

From our office Christmas party, I arrived some half an hour before midnight at a favorite meet-up place and decided to text some friends for a bite or whatever since I didn't want to go home yet. Only one of them was up for a late night so we decided to go to a coffee shop for supposedly a quick chat.

The Queen of England bought tea while I had hot chocolate. From 12mn to 6am, we talked about life and Game of Thrones and Ricky Lee and people and other stuff. And she told me some more things about her recent writing stint, her one tricky pool of complicated ideas, the people at the office, plans for the future (or lack thereof). I told her of my personal woes, my first Sandman volume!, my restlessness about my career (or lack thereof), my longing for a familiar company.

You'd think not being with each other would have made us run out of things to talk about. But I guess it's the way with friends like her I've come to make and keep. I (and thankfully they do, too) always take the effort to see each other together, whether for a movie, a thrift bookstore date or just random meet-ups over coffee and tea. Yeah, I might have missed out on some things from the party, but it's something I would gladly trade for another six-hour senseless banter with a kindred (ghei) soul who knows what makes me tick, and whose quirks I have loved dearly for the past couple of years.

The part that insists, the part that persists

I'm 22 now, and all I could think of is, "Am I supposed to be here? Shouldn't I be out there, somewhere?"

This lack of drive and sense of purpose is so unnerving. But there's something tugging at the back of my head. Maybe I need to take heed, if only I know what it says and wants me to do, and how.

Les Misérables - International Trailer

When I finally got to see the full international trailer for Les Misérables, I watched the two-and-a-half video with bated breath, not quite understanding what's going on. As is wont to happen when I'm overcome with emotions, I squealed and ajklsdfhaasdjkldg;1!asfbaergsd;' my way through my microblogging entries.

I think what happened was my brain was slow on the uptake in comprehending the massiveness of scope and sheer visual magnitude of the film. The gorgeous sets, the resounding orchestra, the poignant lyrics of the songs, the costumes--everything was grandiose as befit the musical phenomenon inspired by Victor Hugo's chef d'oeuvre.

However, I think I was more overwhelmed with the beauty of the dynamic between Valjean and Cosette shown in the trailer. It was the central point of the book for me, and I find it quite lacking in the musical. By lacking I mean it was there but not just magnified and given focus (and quite understandable because of the many story lines that need to be simplified). When Valjean (Hugh Jackman) called Cosette (Isabelle Allen) and addressed her as Mademoiselle, I actually teared up. Here is an ex-convict who had almost given up from the hateful world, showing affection to a girl who has equally been devoid of receiving care and love. And when they found each other, it was so glorious.

Of course, the trailer also has many other amazing factors. The overture truly exudes in me feelings of anticipation and wonder. Boublil and Schönberg's music is really awe-inspiring. We also finally got to see the Thénardiers! (Can I just say that HBC is so goddamn sassy in that two seconds during "Master of the House"?) The barricades were enormous and seeing it in whole really gave goose prickles, not to mention the galleys and the chain gang. It also helps (or maybe it does not) my fangirl heart to see the West End Les Miserables actors and actresses I have come to love and adore. (Oh, Samantha! Allistair! Hadley! Killian! Jamie! And I really hoped to see Colm Wilkinson here. But I guess that could wait. Hihi.)

But really, I simply just can't put into words how this movie is going to be so beautiful and heartbreaking. As I might have said before, excitement is an understatement for the feelings I have regarding this film.

Winter has come

These past few months have seen me wallowing in emotions and journeying through the fantastic lands of Ice and Fire. I first encountered this world through the HBO series "Game of Thrones." And though I'm quite wont to reproaching myself for having discovered it just now instead of years and years earlier, I am still glad to know, experience and learn more about the exquisite and vivid world crafted by George R. R. Martin. In the shuttle on the way to work, during lunch breaks, while waiting in line, before going to sleep, and basically whenever I had free (and actually not-so-free) time, I found myself reading each of the current five books of the saga "A Song of Ice and Fire." All of them are almost a thousand page apiece and all of them gripping, intriguing and... addicting.

"'The north remembers, Lord Davos. The north remembers, and the mummer's farce is almost done. My son is home.' Something about the way Lord Wyman said that chilled Davos to the bone."

The line is from "A Dance with Dragons," the fifth book from the saga. And all the five books are filled with such breath-stealing moments and utterly captivating plot lines that flow seamlessly through the pages. I did feel cold fingers down my back when I read that line spoken by Lord Wyman Manderly, even before I got to the part about Lord Davos. "The north remembers" resonate so well to us readers who have journeyed and empathized with the northern men, and the sequence of the dialogues in this part just set the delivery of the line at its most affecting. 

"I think it passing odd that I am loved by one for a kindness I never did, and reviled by so many for my finest act." 

-- "A Clash of Kings" (Book II)

It has been known that the dynamic in "A Song of Ice and Fire" is not the usual good versus bad. In this land of continuous power struggle and betrayal and personal ambitions, every single character is capable of fighting his way through the labyrinthine quasi-medieval society of Westeros and the lands beyond the Narrow Sea. Each book in the series is bursting with action and twists that don't let go, and the high fantasy elements of dragons, skinchangers, and prophecies add more fervor in the events that transpired. 

In stories of the scale such as "A Song of Ice and Fire," there are bound to be a dazzling array of characters--from knights to sorcerers, from bards to sellswords, from kings to slaves, from bastards to lords, I have met their kinds. And what's so addicting about GRRM's world is that every single character he cared to introduce ends up being a personality that sticks in the mind even if his/her appearances in the books are hundreds of pages in between. It's easy to get lost in the tangled plot and subplots set in many wondrous places. But when a character you thought you don't exactly know or care about appears again, something clicks in your head and everything amazingly snaps into place... and you're just... awed. It's such a thrilling experience and one I can't get enough of, honestly.

"'You lie,' (the kindly old man) said. 'All men lie when they are afraid. Some tell many lies, some but a few. Some have only one great lie they tell so often that they almost come to believe it... though some small part of them will always know it is still a lie, and that will show upon their faces.'"  

-- "A Feast for Crows" (Book IV)

I know I'm not really an expert reader to generalize literary expositions, but another thing I liked about "A Song of Ice and Fire" is that GRRM seemingly deconstructs the ideological foundations of the character tropes. Knights and princesses, mothers and kings--they're not always what we might know them to be. Suddenly the soiled fighter is actually a man of honor, a woman becomes more of a knight than any anointed ser in the kingdom, the child soldier transforms into a vengeful and dark warrior, the domestic ladies find strength in their grief and are actually able to wield more power than their male counterparts. Every character is so well-made for me, and it's really thrilling to watch them struggle to achieve what they want or battle it out against one another.

Another thing I liked about GRRM's chef-d'œuvre is the exquisite imagery of places and people, of culture and myths, of the lands' own histories and heroes. I find it really amazing how fluid the ideas flow from one to another. I have probably said this, but I love how unapologetic GRRM is in his writing. The chapters are filled to the brim with tales from this fictional world so vividly written I can't help but feel it's real. The symbols are so deftly constructed, the ideologies (be it religion or other societal norms) so innate in every character you end up reasoning with yourself defending and contending their actions. 

"She loved the sea. She liked the sharp salty smell of the air, the vastness of horizons bounded only by a vault of azure sky above. It made her feel small, but free as well. She liked the dolphins that sometimes swam along beside Balerion, slicing through the waves like silvery spears, and the flying fish they glimpsed now and again. She even liked the sailors, with all their songs and stories."  

--"A Storm of Swords" (Book III)

I have never been this obsessed in a fantasy series, or any material for that matter, before. I thought maybe it's because I'm older when I started being enthusiastic about it (contrary to, say, being obsessed years ago with "Harry Potter") and that I am more capable to act upon this fascination. (I actually actively searched for fanfictions because I. Just. Can't. Get. Enough. Of my favorite characters.) I also thought maybe it's because I have friends I could fangirl with over the books. I also thought maybe because "A Song of Ice and Fire" is so different from anything I have encountered yet, that even the languages used fascinate me. And I have never felt this attached to this many characters. GRRM has a gut-wrenching way of dealing with characters and their fates (and deaths), and as a reader, the emotional torture can sometimes be quite disconcerting. But in a sick way, you can't really stop and give up, can you?

"A craven can be as brave as any man, when there is nothing to fear. And we all do our duty, when there is no cost to it. How easy it seems then, to walk the path of honor. Yet soon or late in every man's life comes a day when he must choose." 

-- "A Game of Thrones" (Book I)

More than anything though, I think I'm so deeply obsessed because the whole saga is a really rich narrative that saying it's a complicated tale is an understatement. Every reading, every character you root for, every chapter makes you think. GRRM's world is so convoluted it leaves so much room for discovery. And it's exhilarating to analyze things you might have missed the first time, and realize its effect to the whole story. I think it's one of the irresistible factor of the series--you're never ever sure so you have to keep reading (or wait for the succeeding books and discuss theories with fellow fans while at it).

Honestly, I didn't know what I have signed up for when I began my journey first in Winterfell, beyond the Wall, and then through Westeros and then father away into the lands beyond the Narrow Sea and in the Free Cities. My thoughts are a train-wreck for weeks now because of "A Song of Ice and Fire" and gods know what I'm supposed to do with my life while waiting for the sixth book "The Winds of Winter."

Currently the most beloved pieces in my book collection. :))