ghosts

i.

they say the unexplained sensation from phantom limbs can be quite excruciating. like the ghost of the missing body part, the hacked nerve endings give off confusing signals to the brain, signaling danger. signaling pain.

but how do you handle the danger from a part of you that isn't there anymore? trying to shake it off with involuntary twitches. attempting to use the missing limb. numbing the mind and body with morphine. scratching the itch. denying the loss.

ii.

funny how he puts a ring on another's hand and you take off what's on yours.

iii.

do you call a ghost what should have been there but isn't (wasn't any longer)?

subsisting on digital crumbs, you try to trace the path back to the promise from a decade ago. but the crumbs are sparse and the path almost gone. do you still try to find what refuses to be found?

iv.

Burning bright right 'til the end
Now you'll be missing from the photographs,
missing from the photographs (x)

v.

you never had encounters of the supernatural kind, whereas everybody seems to have a ghostly experience or two. sometimes, you wonder if it's because you have shut your consciousness from the unexplainable. maybe it's your cynicism. maybe it's your unwillingness to concede to what you can't understand, let alone control.

in these experiences, people have different ways to cope. some cry. some scream. some run. some can't wait to tell others. some pray to the divine. some close their eyes and will the bad away.

maybe, some choose to forget, erasing everything from their minds, leaving no trace.

vi.

the phantom limb hurts because the brain is having trouble coping with the loss. the void hurts, but the opposite can also be quite true: suffocating, unnerving. grasping, clutching, hanging by a thread. reaching out for that sliver of rationality–why, why, why?

vii.

without the ring, lighter is the hand. but heavy is the heart.